Sunday, April 15, 2007

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Love Cats!


UK EXCLUSIVE!


Dr Informed can exclusively reveal to UK readers that the fragrant Patricia Hewitt is a big fan of cats! This news is a shocking set back for Dr Rant's latest research findings that people with more than two cats are 'lunatic self-pitying hypochondriacs who smell of urine and waste doctor's time'.

In a touching and heart felt interview in the latest edition of I Love Cats, Patricia reveals the huge part that her six cats play in her life. She says:

"I'd be completely lost without the love and support I get from my cats Dave, Graham, Hugh, Sharon, Norman and little Tony. Some days it seems that everyone else thinks that I'm an incompetent idiot with a voice that could grate cheese, but my cats always make me feel special."

She also takes the opportunity to remind readers that nothing is her fault at all, and that Simon Eccles says she's really nice and utterly brilliant.

Monday, March 05, 2007

Why don't you.......



Switch off your televsion set and go out and do something less boring instead?

Why not wind up the the Lib Dems again?

Never one to let sleeping dogs lie, Dr Informed has noticed a recent comment from the irascible Dr Mustard on the LibDem discussion forum about Dr Barry Monk's candidature.

Still no movement on the website stealing front either.

Why not let them know what you think?

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Not Dead Yet!



Dr Informed would like to appologise for his rather spartan efforts on this blog of late, but he is still in rude health. Rumours of his demise are, of course, grossly exaggerated.

The reasons for the apparent paucity of activity is that Dr Informed is currently pursuing an exciting collaborative project with another well known medical blog, which will for now remain nameless..........

Best wishes for the forthcoming best year in the history of the NHS 2!

Friday, December 29, 2006

Barry's on the net!


Bedford's leading political dissident, Dr Barry Monk has joined the space age and published his own campaign website!

Regular readers will know all about Barry's motives, and the local Liberal Democrat's foul play and unsporting behaviour.

He seems to be pressing ahead despite Dr Informed's sage advice to keep his head down......

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

We're all doomed!




Just when you thought that people couldn't be any more stupid, it has been decided by somebody that NHS Direct should be made available through digital TV.

That's bloody great. Yet another way to wait 2 hours for a nurse with a computer to phone you back and tell you to see your GP or go to A&E.

Friday, December 15, 2006

How Do You Solve A Problem Like Patricia?


“Hospital closures and new Modern Matrons
PFI ventures with capitalist patrons
MMC bollocks, the chaos it brings
These are a few of my favourite things.

When the polls fall, when the shit sticks,
when I'm feeling sad,
I simply remember my favourite things,
and then I don't feel so bad.”


The Sound Of Bullshit (18 cert 9 years, 490 minutes)

The glory days of musical cinema have returned with this enchanting portrayal of love, incompetence, contempt, ineptitude, corruption, dogma, incompetence and more love. Tony B Liar and director Patsy Fuckwitt have produced a masterpiece which more than does justice to the score and lyrics penned by the creative powerhouse of F.O. Klaus, A. Kidney-Freak and C.R. Mudgeon.

Beautifully filmed on location in Whitehall and Cloud-Cuckoo Land, the film gives a masterful insight into the surreal world of health policy. The songs punctuate the drama and give endearing depth to the lead characters, including a classic reworking of the traditional ‘cuddly-Nazi’ song ‘Edelweiss’

NHS, NHS,
Every morning I beat thee,
I take care
To be unfair
at every turn, then smile sweetly.
Nobody wants what we're forcing through
So what? I couldn't care less,
I'm in a mood,
So you're all screwed,
And you get blamed for the mess.


The lead performance by Patricia Hewitt is a master class of oblivious, patronising pontification of the caliber we have come to expect from her.


The highlight of the movie has to be a Hewitt cheering up a group of young management consultants with the rousing ‘Doh! Oh Dear!’:

Doh! Oh dear! Ah me! Oh dear!
Re-pay all the debts at once!
Me? Ashamed? I tell myself
Far too late the rots begun
So I needn't live in dread
La-bour voters follow still
T. B.'s out his fucking head
And that brings us back to Doh!


You really must see this film, which is destined to become regarded as a classic, even by heterosexual men.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

UK 'Brain Bypass' Op Breakthrough



Dr Informed was most intruiged when he saw this headline in the BBC 'Health News' Headlines down there on the bottom of the side bar!

Pah! That's old news, and Patsy Fuckwit is living proof!

du-dum-tschh!

Sense of Humour © Dr Informed 2006

Monday, December 11, 2006

More LibDem Bastardry in Bedford!



Not content with nicking Barry Monk’s domain names, it would appear that Bedford LibDems have also registered the ‘Bedford Conservatives’ Domain names – and set up a ‘smear campaign’ website. The integrity of these scoundrels has sunk to unfathomable depths!

Being an incorrigible sleuth, Dr Informed thought that it might be illuminating to investigate the political scene in Bedford in order to work out the ‘quality’ of opposition to Dr Barry Monk.

Having been directed to this site by the mighty Google, Dr Informed’s well defined masculine chin almost hit the floor! The reference to a ‘conservative activist’ using gay chat up lines has something of a 'Liberal' Democrat Hypocrisy smell about it, doesn’t it? Using Dr Rant’s patented ‘stooge detector’ technique, the culprit can be unmasked:


Visit AboutUs.org for more information about bedfordconservatives.com
AboutUs: bedfordconservatives.com

Registration Service Provided By: NameCheap.com
Contact: support@NameCheap.com
Visit: http://www.namecheap.com/

Domain name: bedfordconservatives.com

Registrant Contact:
dynamoo.com
Conrad Longmore (dynamoo@spamcop.net)
+44.1234325328
Fax: +44.1234000000
26 Heron Heights
Goldington Green
Bedford, State MK41 0AA
GB

Status: Locked


Recognise that name? Dr Informed does! Conrad Longmore is also the registrant of this website.

Why not email the cad Longmore with your opinion of his activities?

So what have we learnt about the quality of politics in Bedford? Firstly Labour are shutting the hospital. Secondly, the Conservatives appear to be a ‘bit dodgy’, (although Mr Longmore doesn’t provide any evidence). Thirdly, the Liberal Democrats are a bunch of amoral scumsucking bastards who epitomise all that is shabby and disgusting about modern British politics.

The people of Bedford will make the right choice come the next election because they have an alternative. It would appear that the Hospital isn’t the only thing that needs saving in Bedford……….democratic integrity is also at stake.

Cometh the hour, Cometh the man, Cometh Barry Monk!